Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Signs, Part 5

Signs Seen Here and There, Part 5

  • Sign in a Stavanger, Norway hairdresser's: "Nice face...shame about the hair."
  • From Down Under...a sign from a furniture company: "Our beds are factory trained not to climb on your children. Please show the same courtesy."
  • Seen on the back of a van in the UK belonging to a curtain and blind retailer: "This van is being driven by a blind man!"
  • In Lilburn GA, at an antique furniture refinishing & repair shop, the sign proudly proclaimed: "Male Stripper on Duty."
  • On Interstate 40 in an eastern New Mexico rest area bathroom that was under construction, the sign actually read, "Please use sidewalk."
  • A few years back, one of our utility companies bore the unfortunate name, "People's Natural Gas."
  • A local Subway had a sign that said: "Now hiring - 6in tuna- $3.59." (Poor, underpaid, overworked tiny tuna!)
  • One of the tow truck companies a town had an old tow truck they would drive in parades. On its side it said, "The oldest hooker in town."
  • A sign that was up for a while at a hot dog stand: "We relish your buns."
  • On a sign in front of a church intending to advertise a fundraiser for the youth group: "Archery Shoot Youth Fundraiser."
  • On the road leading into the Birmingham, AL airport, a sign says "Parking" and has an arrow...pointing at a graveyard.
  • In San Luis Obispo, CA, all the city busses have plastered on their sides, "SLO Transit."
  • This sign was apparently supposed to be a Christmas message. All it said was, "This shall be a sign to you."
  • At First Assembly of God in Union Grove, WI, the sign out front once read: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Sun worship 10:30 am."
  • A barber in East Petersburg, PA has a sign stating, "I need your head in my business."
  • In Amarillo, TX there is a Burger King sign that reads, "Work for the King, not the Clown (referring to McDonalds)."
  • At our AA clubhouse in Lemon Grove, a sign on the bulletin board states: "Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy!"
  • There's a brake shop in Brea that has a sign that says: "We stand in front of our brake jobs."
  • Sign at a hairdresser: "I'm a beautician, not a magician."
  • Sign for a local sanitation company: "You Dump It! We Pump It!"
  • On a veterinarian/taxidermist's marquee: "Either way you get your cat back."
  • Due to budget constraints, the Board of the Daily Planet advised Perry White that he had to let one of his star reporters go. He was really overwhelmed about the magnitude of the decision. "Who should go, Clark or Lois?" He actually did some praying, which he hadn't done for a long time. He asked, "Please, show me a sign." That afternoon he was doing some shopping at WalMart, and when he went to his car he suddenly saw the answer. The next day he called Clark and Lois into the office and said, "I'm sorry, Lois, but you have to go." After Lois collected her things and left, Clark took Perry aside and asked, "Chief, how did you decide which one of us should go?" Perry said, "Well, that turned out to be easier than I thought. While I was parking at WalMart, I looked up and there was the sign: 'FIRE LANE.'"

Thought for the Day

Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar and got twelve months?

1 comment:

Coveredwithjoy said...

I found your site by typing in "clean puns". These are great. I love puns but tend to drive people crazy with them. They do not like travelling far with me. :)