Thursday, July 12, 2007

My Job History

- My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...I couldn't concentrate.
- I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
- After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, because it was only a so-so job.
- Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
- I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
- Then I tried to be a chef -- I figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
- I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
- My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. - I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
- Next was a job in a shoe factory - I tried but I just didn't fit in.
- I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
- I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
- I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
- So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
- After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
- My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
- So then I retired...and found out I was perfect for the job!

Author unknown - Edited by Eric Farthing

Pun Liner of the Day

Sign in an electrician's shop: “We will refuse you.”

One Liner of the Day

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Thought for the Day

Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.

Murphy's Laws

Law of Full Employment: An "acceptable" level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

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